My sincerest apologies for the late rankings this week. I blame a handful of items: Civ V, the ardent search for gainful employment, CIV V, a couple of deadlines for music on the horizon, CIVILIZATION V and a lack of sleep (due to Civ).
So seeing as how it’s already Thursday night and I have to make my picks sometime soon, as well (and oh man, was I awful last week), I will keep this short and sweet.
1. Indianapolis Colts – Peyton may have achieved a new level of badass for himself. He can do it no matter who is out there playing with him.
2. Pittsburgh Steelers – It’s impressive how well Charlie Batch and Dennis Dixon have held it down for Big Ben. The Steel Curtain is looking more and more convincing each week.
3. Atlanta Falcons – They got a bit lucky there near the end but, as was excessively pointed out by the commentators that day, they survived a “slugfest” by going “blow for blow” with the champs.
4. New Orleans Saints – The Saints look awfully human right now. But that’s because even I can run through that defense.
5. Chicago Bears – I met a dude on the greyhound last weekend that was positive the Bears would beat the Packers on primetime. We debated. I feel like an ass now.
6. Green Bay Packers – They have the potential to be in the top 5 all year but the lack of discipline and a run game is hurting them.
7. New York Jets – As long as they keep winning, it won’t even matter how they’re doing it. But boy does LT look good.
8. New England Patriots – They can’t play much defense it would seem but what if I told you that they can still outscore most teams on any given Sunday?
9. Baltimore Ravens – Finally, Joe Cool has a strong game. Now what?
10. Houston Texans – Arguably, the loss to the Cowboys says more about the Cowboys than it does of the Texans but losing at home in such a statement game is cause for alarm.
11. Philadelphia Eagles – Welcome back to the NFL elite, Michael. The Eagles look like an entirely different team for the first time in a decade.
12. Tennessee Titans – Was it the Titans getting together or the Giants falling apart?
13. Kansas City Chiefs – Ok, they’re for real. They still haven’t really met any scary football teams but with the way the AFC West is playing right now, they might need to.
14. Cincinnati Bengals – It’s hard to tell whether the Bengals gain a spot or lose a spot for a meh beating of the Panthers.
15. Miami Dolphins – Miami hung tough but could not win at home against a rival. Hmm… not good.
16. Dallas Cowboys – Redemption. Roy Williams goes off and Dez Bryant pays for it. Literally.
17. Minnesota Vikings – I’m still not convinced. We’ll know against the Jets.
18. Seattle Seahawks – They’re certainly pretty good on special teams and at home. And in the bumbling, stumbling NFC West… that might just be enough.
19. Denver Broncos – Having no run game and no number one receiver is going to keep this team from scoring as many points as they could.
20. San Diego Chargers – That wasn’t very nice.
21. Detroit Lions – I chalk that loss up to the Vikings feeling every point of pressure in the world. The Lions will be much, much better when Stafford returns.
22. Washington Redskins – There are no excuses for losing to the Rams 30-16 with as many offensive weapons as they have. It won’t get easier against the Eagles.
23. New York Giants – Giants keep on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’… into obscurity. Ok that was bad… buuuttt not as bad as the Giants.
24. Arizona Cardinals – Winning despite looking awful in almost every facet of the game is kinda what happens when a team this bad plays against the Raiders at home.
25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Ok now this team should be ranked lower than 20th. Then again, that was Pitts.
26. Oakland Raiders – How does a team lose and gain a rank? Because the Niners are winless, Seabass would probably make that kick most days and BECAUSE I SAID SO.
27. St. Louis Rams – Excellent work. Bradford looked good, the defense kept McNabb off balance the whole time. Now how about stringing together some games like this one?
28. San Francisco 49ers – The potential is there an getting rid of Raye was a step in the right direction. But now you just gotta get rid of Singletary and Alex Smith.
29. Jacksonville Jaguars – I’m not sure why I picked them to beat the Eagles but I must have been on something.
30. Cleveland Browns – They hung tough with the Ravens but when all was said and done, c’est la vie.
31. Carolina Panthers – They hung tough with the Bengals but when all was said and done, they have turned to Clausen and Steve Smith is on the verge of madness.
32. Buffalo Bills – They hung really tough with the Patriots but when all was said and done… oh bah BOO ugh.