Significant Week 5 Trades … and an Apology





First of all, I’m sorry about the Houdini. Things haven’t been particularly pleasant around here and like a good cold, I took the time to let it run its course and slept it off. And now, for the first time in a very long time, it would appear some things are starting to look up again.
So back to SPORTS. Lots of things going on. Let’s start with some important trades that went down this week.
Randy Moss is now a Viking. Again. The immediate reaction that I’ve observed has been mostly negative; he’s being compared to TO for being a diva and blah blah blah.

What is wrong with people? Y’all got it all wrong. Moss was run out of town. A comparison to TO (though he just proved he’s still got it with that monster game this past weekend) is hardly fair. Randy is simply the most talented receiver in the league and he was systematically moved out of town by Belichick and Kraft. It’s obvious as all hell; the Pats don’t pay out a lot of money and they decided that the man slingin’ the ball (Brady) was more important than any of the guys catchin’ it (in this case, the victim was Moss who would have required far more money than any of the other receivers on the roster or all of them combined). So Randy wasn’t going to get resigned… he was absolutely correct about being unwanted.

So the pats got something in return for him. AND WHATS THIS? They got something better than what they gave up for him (they acquired him from Oakland for a 4th round pick and gave him to Minnesota 3 years later for a 3rd rounder)? Get the Fak out of Dodge hahaha and was it totally coincidental that Moss had nothin on the scorecard Monday night? Are we all still, after all these years, really that naive about Bill Belichick

This was masterful design, people – step back and bask in the warm glow of this marvel of pro sports shenaniganry.

Also if you’re a Randy Moss owner, enjoy the ride. There’s nothing I can imagine that will be more explosively beautiful and glorious than his return to where it all started and catching balls from what should be a very excited Brett Favre (remember he wanted Moss back in 07 but Ted Thompson was [and still is…recurring theme today, trust me] a moron). Those wonderful 200 yard/ 3 TD games are coming back!

So who loses here? Mostly the NFC North. The Bears were looking pretty good but then Cutler got murdered, they lost a little moxie to the inconsistently mediocre Giants and now Randy is back? YUCK. Definitely the Green Bay Packers. Ted Thompson is a dimwit… he’ll resurface again in a minute. But now the Pack will have to worry about Minnesota again… something they weren’t (shouldn’t have been) too worried about yesterday. Tom Brady loses a bit… though he still has a winning franchise, West Welker, Brandon Tate, Danny Woodhead (wtf) and Giselle (yum). Guess he doesn’t lose much…

Alright, now that’s settled… the other significant trade recently was the trade of Marshawn Lynch from the Bills to the Seahawks. Again, this has been met with so much criticism and negativity about how Lynch has made a lateral move versus moving up in stock/etc. Again… are we all watching the same sport here?????
Because, from what I can tell, BEAST MODE just upgraded in nearly every sense. For one, Seattle has drastically improved its running game. Forsett, as cool as he is, isn’t a feature back and is best suited as a change of pace guy anyway. The perfect compliment for his Cal Bear buddy Lynch. Secondly, this takes a lot of pressure off of Hasselbeck and the passing game which has performed admirably considering their receiving corps is made up of Mike Williams, Deion Branch (who plays everywhere and is sometimes even the H2O distribution engineer), rookie Golden Tate and  underrated tight end John Carlson. Now Seattle will trot out a tried and true workhorse in Lynch who averaged 265 carries for 1075 yards and 7 scores for the first two seasons in Buffalo (where all offense goes to die) and put up decent numbers in a suspension shortened season last year in which Buffalo fell in love with Fred Jackson.
The Seahawks immediately benefit. They’re now, unquestionably, the best team in the NFC West until proven otherwise.
But what about from a fantasy perspective? Everybody and their mother is complaining about how this is a lateral move for Lynch and that his value remains the same. Not even close. The Seahawks have probably the easiest schedule for running backs moving forward as they get to run all over the NFC and AFC West with a couple other teams sprinkled in there that stop the run as well as malaria infected water.  And Pete Carroll has made it clear that they’re riding Lynch the rest of the way. Why wouldn’t he? Lynch is a beast. I’m glad to have him back on the West Coast.
If you have or can get Marshawn Lynch. Go do it. Cut Justin Forsett. Pick up Brandon Tate. Hell, pick up Golden Tate. If you have Randy Moss, be happy. If you have Brett Favre, be happy. If you have Adrian Peterson, laugh uncontrollably. If you play linebacker for an NFC North team, write your mama and tell her how much you love her. If you’re a Niner fan. Well, I’m sorry.

Sincerely,
happy fantasy owner of randy moss and marshawn lynch

Week 4 Power Rankings

My sincerest apologies for the late rankings this week. I blame a handful of items: Civ V, the ardent search for gainful employment, CIV V, a couple of deadlines for music on the horizon, CIVILIZATION V and a lack of sleep (due to Civ).
So seeing as how it’s already Thursday night and I have to make my picks sometime soon, as well (and oh man, was I awful last week), I will keep this short and sweet.
1.       Indianapolis Colts – Peyton may have achieved a new level of badass for himself. He can do it no matter who is out there playing with him.
2.      Pittsburgh Steelers – It’s impressive how well Charlie Batch and Dennis Dixon have held it down for Big Ben. The Steel Curtain is looking more and more convincing each week.
3.      Atlanta Falcons – They got a bit lucky there near the end but, as was excessively pointed out by the commentators that day, they survived a “slugfest” by going “blow for blow” with the champs.
4.      New Orleans Saints – The Saints look awfully human right now. But that’s because even I can run through that defense.
5.      Chicago Bears – I met a dude on the greyhound last weekend that was positive the Bears would beat the Packers on primetime. We debated. I feel like an ass now.
6.      Green Bay Packers – They have the potential to be in the top 5 all year but the lack of discipline and a run game is hurting them.
7.      New York Jets – As long as they keep winning, it won’t even matter how they’re doing it. But boy does LT look good.
8.      New England Patriots – They can’t play much defense it would seem but what if I told you that they can still outscore most teams on any given Sunday?
9.      Baltimore Ravens – Finally, Joe Cool has a strong game. Now what?
10.   Houston Texans – Arguably, the loss to the Cowboys says more about the Cowboys than it does of the Texans but losing at home in such a statement game is cause for alarm.
11.    Philadelphia Eagles – Welcome back to the NFL elite, Michael. The Eagles look like an entirely different team for the first time in a decade.
12.   Tennessee Titans – Was it the Titans getting together or the Giants falling apart?
13.   Kansas City Chiefs – Ok, they’re for real. They still haven’t really met any scary football teams but with the way the AFC West is playing right now, they might need to.
14.   Cincinnati Bengals – It’s hard to tell whether the Bengals gain a spot or lose a spot for a meh beating of the Panthers.
15.   Miami Dolphins – Miami hung tough but could not win at home against a rival. Hmm… not good.
16.   Dallas Cowboys – Redemption. Roy Williams goes off and Dez Bryant pays for it. Literally.
17.   Minnesota Vikings – I’m still not convinced. We’ll know against the Jets.
18.   Seattle Seahawks – They’re certainly pretty good on special teams and at home. And in the bumbling, stumbling NFC West… that might just be enough.
19.   Denver Broncos – Having no run game and no number one receiver is going to keep this team from scoring as many points as they could.
20.  San Diego Chargers – That wasn’t very nice.
21.   Detroit Lions – I chalk that loss up to the Vikings feeling every point of pressure in the world. The Lions will be much, much better when Stafford returns.
22.  Washington Redskins – There are no excuses for losing to the Rams 30-16 with as many offensive weapons as they have. It won’t get easier against the Eagles.
23.  New York Giants – Giants keep on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’… into obscurity. Ok that was bad… buuuttt not as bad as the Giants.
24.  Arizona Cardinals – Winning despite looking awful in almost every facet of the game is kinda what happens when a team this bad plays against the Raiders at home.
25.  Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Ok now this team should be ranked lower than 20th. Then again, that was Pitts.
26.  Oakland Raiders – How does a team lose and gain a rank? Because the Niners are winless, Seabass would probably make that kick most days and BECAUSE I SAID SO.
27.  St. Louis Rams – Excellent work. Bradford looked good, the defense kept McNabb off balance the whole time. Now how about stringing together some games like this one?
28.  San Francisco 49ers – The potential is there an getting rid of Raye was a step in the right direction. But now you just gotta get rid of Singletary and Alex Smith.
29.  Jacksonville Jaguars – I’m not sure why I picked them to beat the Eagles but I must have been on something.
30.  Cleveland Browns – They hung tough with the Ravens but when all was said and done, c’est la vie.
31.   Carolina Panthers – They hung tough with the Bengals but when all was said and done, they have turned to Clausen and Steve Smith is on the verge of madness.
32.  Buffalo Bills – They hung really tough with the Patriots but when all was said and done… oh bah BOO ugh.